The Hardest Goodbyes
by sleepingwiththefish
Summary: Sadstuck with the DaveJade pairing. Dave Strider is a spirit and in his few precious moments, gives his goodbyes. And Jade, she will run to him... Warning: Themes of Death and mild use of profanity.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, Author note thingy before you read this. First off, it's a little sad and very shippy. And hey, if you wanna make it even sadder while reading, I'm gonna post a playlist sort of thing of songs to listen to while reading and they also happen to be what I was listening to while writing this story! But yes, this is because everyone knows emotional music will forever make sad stories even more upsetting so here:  
~ Fix You by Coldplay  
~ The Scientist by Coldplay  
~ Run To You by Pentatonix  
~ Trouble by Coldplay  
~ Red by Pieces  
~ Over The Love by Florence & The Machine  
~ One Less Heart To Break by Patent Pending

Enjoy!

* * *

He knew it was the last time he'd see her. The last time he'd visit her and see that flawless pale skin, see that lustrous ebony hair that would sashay around her hips as she walked, the final time he'd catch a glimpse of those jaded eyes with purple shadows beneath. Already he could feel his heart palpitate and all but hear the blood rushing through his ears. Or at least, he probably would've if he had them so he was probably just imagine it. After all, he was a ghost now and he was fading. He had a body but it was just a spiritual body mirroring his before death and the accident.

It was the same before the accident, tall and skinny, somewhat awkward in movements with hunched shoulders and movements that were kind of careless and reflected his lazy nature. He donned the familiar red and white long-sleeved shirt with a pixellated CD on it and those usual black skinny jeans that had only ever made him look more bony and skinny. He hadn't seen his face but after checking, he'd noticed that his familiar aviators were gone and he couldn't hide those familiar red eyes that had brought on a childhood of bullying and a torrent of abuse, both verbally and physically. People had never appreciated a difference; if it wasn't normal, it wasn't right. That was how the real world had always worked, you had to be a clone of everybody else or you were alienated for what made the difference.

But he was fading around the edges already and hell, it scared him. Dave had tried his hardest to be the stoic dick that he always appeared but he'd have been lying if he said he'd never let anything; his mind was constantly whirring with every possibility of his every move, like the mind of an avid chess player. Hell, he was fading. What would happen when he faded completely? He was about to experience death and he hadn't even said his real goodbyes to any of his friends. But in those last seconds, when he'd seen the headlights coming, he'd called her name.

And there she was, lay on her bed, a bundle of green silk sheets and a mass of black waves from beneath the green like some sort of morbid flower. His heart and head was racing, would she be able to see him? Would she scream in fear of a ghost? He was frightened and dreading the idea of losing her for good. Hell, it would be total shit if he had consciousness in death and was gonna spend the next eternity mourning his poor choice of not saying his goodbyes to her. So, almost hovering above the wooden floors, he walked to her.

"Jade..." He whispered in her ear, leaning over the bed to rouse her from her sleep as gently as possible. Waking her up with a shock was a bad plan, it could make her have a fit because of the whole narcolepsy business. His body ached with the familiar urge to touch her, to touch her skin once more and feel the silky warmth beneath his fingertips. It was a familiar urge, he'd always wanted to lavish her body with love and tender caresses but even if he was a dickhead, he wasn't about to just go and touch something like Jade. She was the equivalent of the Mona Lisa to an art museum curator at the Louvre to him. He could only ever watch, never quite touch the radiant being that Jade Harley was.

"Huh?" She almost moaned as those tired jaded eyes opened, all but illuminating the room. Even after just awakening, she was beautiful and resembled a goddess. Her long black hair was messy and ruffled, those natural black waves surrounding her head in a sort of discord; an accurate description of what the inside of her head was like too. Her lips were damp and slick from saliva after licking her lips, but they just looked glossy and sweet to him. But her eyes, they were what he marveled. Green as a gemstone, but also like the leaves on the trees of a tropical rainforest. Surrounding them were dark circles, a side effect of the Narcolepsy since her sleeping pattern was so destroyed and random, but they made those green orbs only look brighter in comparison. Then, outlining those eyes were thick black lashes that fluttered in confusion as she searched the room in a dazed stupor.

"I need you to wake up for a minute, Harley." Dave replied, his voice hushed but strained as he all but pleaded her to look at him.  
"Dave...?" She moaned, her radiant eyes turning to look at him, still dazed and dreamy from the recent awakening.  
"Yeah, it's me Harls." He said, sitting on the bed as she sat up.

He watched her realize, noticing that there was something wrong. Her jade eyes grew wide and shimmered as water started to fill them. Those pouty rose lips hung open in horror and her brows were furrowed as her mouth shut, her lower lip trembling. Those tiny fists were balled up in the sheets and her nose had wrinkled at the bridge where her glasses were normally placed. She was short-sighted, but he knew he was close enough that she'd be able to see him. Slowly, she pulled her knees up against her chest and rocked a little, as if it was some sort of coping method while her eyes never strayed from his.

"You're..." She choked, her voice cracking and trailing off.  
"Yeah." Dave replied, his own voice unable to rise above a whisper.

Slowly, she lifted one arm and went to touch him. Her small hands moved slowly through the air between them, as if he were merely a wild animal and she were afraid to startle him. She aimed for his jaw, where the fading around his outline had begun and he heard her gasp, watched her jaw drop once more as the warm, extended hand slipped straight through the wisp that was his entity now. He had no body, he was nothing but mist and that made his heart drop.

"Dave!" She cried, yanking her hand back as though he'd bitten her and the look of total betrayal on her face was clear.  
"Jade, I..." He replied, but dropped it as he watched her sniff and bite her lip, a habit he had watched her develop. It was the literal way of biting back tears and she was doing exactly that as she watched him shift on the bed.  
"What happened?" Jade asked, her voice oddly harsh as she dropped her eyes to his crossed legs, unable to look him in the face as she shook a little as an odd shiver took over her bones.  
"A car accident." Dave replied blandly, his voice sounding stronger than he felt.  
"You should've been more careful!" She snapped, staring up at him, tears sliding down those smooth, freckled cheeks. "Valued your life!"  
"Please don't cry." Dave said, a lump in his throat as he moved his hand to wipe away the tears.

A futile attempt. His hand did nothing to stop the slow flow of tears as the tear just rolled down her cheek and his hand slipped straight into his skin. He slowly pulled his hand back, simply placing it on his knee, an odd feeling that he couldn't quite explain since he couldn't really feel it. It was odd, but he didn't bother thinking about it. His mind was centered on Jade.

"I promise, I didn't try to die Jade. It was dark and yeah, I should've been more careful. I'm sorry but please don't get upset." Dave said, his face void of emotion while they all churned inside his stomach. Or at least, where his stomach probably should've been.  
"Is there anything I can do to stop this?" She whispered, her shadowed eyes looking into his, all but begging him to give her an answer. Any answer. To tell her that she could help this. That tiny flame of hope flickering bravely, begging not to be extinguished.  
"I'm sorry, Jade." He replied, this time dropping the stare himself. He couldn't look her in the eyes now.  
"Nothing? Please, tell me I can do something Dave! I can't let you go Dave! It's not your time! You can't go now! Please..." By the end of her breakdown, tears were cascading down her cheeks and she sniffed, gulping in unsteady breaths.

Dave spoke gently, almost soothingly, "Jade, please. I came to say goodbye and I can't leave you like this." He knew now was the time to not be him, to be the real Dave Strider that wasn't a total prick and actually did give a fuck about his friends.  
"Then don't." She whispered, watching him raise his head, but avert his eyes from hers.  
"I can't, Jade. I have no control anymore." Dave said, his voice sounding exasperated and just... tired. "I'm fading."  
"Then why come back?" Jade snarled, becoming defensive and the air around them both crackling from the electricity. "Why come to me? To torment me? You're an insufferable prick."

The words were like a bucket of icy water to his fire, biting at his soul and slicing right through him like a katana blade. She'd said those words only rarely, it was always John or Rose or Karkat. She would only ever say that if she was truly pissed and if he was honest, that was a really rare occasion. So, he gulped and mustered up his strength, to tell her and stop regretting his last moments.

_"Because I love you Jade. All that time, I loved you. And when that car hit me, it was you I thought about, not me or the fact I was watching death raise his fucking scythe. It was you that I called out for as my fucking body hit the ground and the impact stopped my damn heart. It was you and always will be you."_

He watched her, with those shocked jade eyes that were glittering with tears. He watched the bridge of her nose wrinkle again and she sniffed, her lips pouted and pursed as she bit the insides of her cheeks. Her fingers fidgeted with the colourful string reminders and her entire being seemed to shake. Then, slowly, she raised a hand and placed her palm flat, as if requesting a high-five. Slowly, he placed his palm against hers, just balancing it and he saw her shiver. And for a second, a split second, he swore he could feel her palm against his. And from the stunned expression, he knew that she could feel it too.

"I... love you too..." She whispered, choking on her words. "Oh god, the hardest goodbyes are the ones that don't follow up with another hello, aren't they?"

He recalled the quote brilliantly, he remembered when she'd said it to him from a book she'd read. It had been a day that they'd spent together and he remembered it crystal clearly, as though it were emblazoned upon his brain. As if someone had branded it onto his skull and whenever he closed his eyes it would be there.

"Wait for me?" She whispered, smiling slightly as he faded further.  
"I will."  
"Do you promise?" She asked, watching him expectantly, her eyes begging him, pleading.  
"I promise." He whispered, and it was the truth.

Jade leaped forwards, to press her lips to his in one final embrace. She had felt him just, she was so certain she'd be able to feel a kiss if she'd been able to feel his hands. But she fell straight past and her face hit the soft cushion that was her mattress. And when she rolled over, to giggle at him because he didn't catch her, her face dropped. All that was there was the cool air and the rest of her room.

He was gone.  
The only evidence of him ever being there was a plastic red rose on her pillow. And on it, carefully written on fine paper wrapped around the stem was wrote:

_Time will never change us, just like this rose._  
_And when your **time** comes, I will search all of **space** for you._


	2. Chapter 2

Funerals were always times of emotion, of grieving where everybody cried and mourned the death of their loved one. But Jade couldn't help but despise them. She was sat at the front, in a fold up chair as the cold breeze whipped her straightened hair around her body, an onslaught of fallen leaves hitting her ankles. But she was watching the people flood in, knowing full well that some of them were there only to pretend they knew Dave.

Karkat had turned up, their sweet albino friend with the shitty temper who was constantly grumbling about something or another. Jade hadn't seen him in a month or two, she'd been busy with work at her college, getting her classes done with so she could return to her dormitory and revise further. He, however, had been living with Gamzee the stoner in some sort of attempt to wean the stoner of his addiction for drugs before his negligent parents sent him to rehab in secret, so as to not attract any more negative attention to their flawless, celebrity reputations.

The albino sat in the chair next to Jade and gave her a look, one that showed only two emotions. First of all, he was probably angry about something or another since he was grimacing like he'd just stepped in dog crap. Secondly, he was tired. Both mentally and physically. The black, bruise-like shadows beneath his grey-coloured eyes (contacts to hide the normally red iris') showed he hadn't been sleeping well recently, whether it was from another bout of insomnia or because of the stress Gamzee was putting on him, Jade didn't know. But also, he was sick of death. After they had beat the game, escaped only barely, they had prayed that they had seen the last of death for some time. But in just weeks of each other, both Dave and Meenah had passed on.

Meenah had been particularly close to Karkat but had died in a back-street alleyway behind a club after a drug overdose. Nobody had known about the drugs or the addiction or even the depression but apparently, when she became a human, things had changed. Aranea, the only one who had any real knowledge of Meenah before death, admitted that she had known about Meenah's drug addiction and had pleaded for her to stop. But becoming human had screwed with her emotions, made her feel real remorse, guilt and even self-hate for killing her friends back in the game. She'd begun an addiction to try and stop the guilt and eventually, it ate away her soul and mind, throwing her out into an alleyway to die.

Sat next to him was John who had been reduced to all but a shaking mess. Her "brother" had eyes that were red rimmed, an image she'd seen only briefly since he'd had his head in his hands since he'd arrived just minutes after her. Sure, John was the strong and brave sort but Dave and him had been close. Real close. In fact, Jade was certain she couldn't even explain just how close they'd been, more like siblings than just mere friends. The bond between them was thicker than blood, more like cement holding the two brothers together. But not anymore.

Vriska, who sat beside him, was comforting him and resting her head against his, whispering reassuring words into his ear. Jade had never been overly fond of Vriska, but since the girl had become human, she'd apparently suffered a change of heart. Even as they all sat there, Vriska was comforting John and trying to take care of him. She didn't have to come, hell, she'd hardly spoken to Dave and Jade imagined they would've probably struggled to get along anyway but she had still came. And somehow, Jade respected the girl for her dedication to John's happiness.

By that time, the chairs were all filled up and Dirk was stood at the front, speaking words that Jade couldn't quite focus on. Her head was elsewhere, in the clouds searching for the boy she missed so dearly. He was only eighteen, he didn't deserve to die so young. But he had and his cold, stony body was lay in the coffin, the only evidence that he had even been in an accident was the scabbed over scratches on his pale cheeks. Hell, if she hadn't known better and watched his ghost come to her that night only a week previous, she'd have slapped the corpse thinking it was some sort of joke. But he looked too peaceful to be alive, even if that stoic, expressionless face was the same as ever.

"Jade..." Rose whispered, her gloved hand resting on Jade's shoulder.

Dirk had finished and was sat beside Roxy on the opposite side of the aisle. He looked visibly shaken, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down but there was no evidence of distress on that expressionless face that every Strider ever had mastered. Everyone but he was watching Jade as she got up, walking to the podium where there was a microphone for her to speak into.

"Dave Strider... Oh god where do I start?" Jade said, her voice shaky as if she were reciting lines for a play. "He was... a hero. Sure, he never showed any emotion if we're all going to be honest, he was more like a statue that could walk and talk. But hell, he was my hero. He was brave and never let anything bother him. I never saw him cry, not even when he witnessed cruel, merciless acts of vile murder. But he... he ran out of time."

Jade felt her voice catch again as everyone watched on.

"I mean, we were close. He helped me with so many things and I would break down the gates of heaven to bring that angel back to me, to us all. I... I can't imagine life without him, even now that he's gone. I... I never..."

By this point, tears were steadily cascading down her cheeks and others' too.

"It feels like a ruse, because it just doesn't seem right. He may have been the most careless out of everyone here... But he had so much life, so much potential... And now, he is gone... And in life, I never told him this. That I looked up to him. That he was my hero. That he was worth everything to me. I... I never told him I loved him-"

She couldn't go on. Jade fled the scene, tears streaming down her cheeks like a waterfall as she ran down the aisle, away from the graveyard and to wherever her tired feet would take her. Her eyes were blind as her mind screamed at her, yelling at her to turn around and finish her speech, to stop being a coward and truly honor Dave in any way that she could, even if it was just through words. But no, she just kept running. Out of the cemetery gates and out to the world beyond, an eager attempt to escape the world of death and melancholy behind her.

But death couldn't be escaped as it waited for her.

"Dave." Was her final word as the car knocked her out of one world and into his.


	3. Chapter 3

"You waited." She cried, embracing him in a hug she had neglected.  
"You were so careless." He choked, holding her body tightly against his in an embrace he could really feel.  
"You were watching?" Jade whispered as Dave nodded into her hair.

He had never felt so much regret and anger when he had watched her do that, watched her run out past the black gates and into the road, her eyes blind to the dangers that surrounded her. It was so careless that it had angered him, the way she had all but thrown away her life when it meant so much to him that she had kept on living for the both of them. But as selfish as it was, he was glad to have her with him, to remove the loneliness and join him. The very fact that he could touch her, hold her now, was what made him smile, even if it was a horrid thing to do. To wish someone dead, just to satiate his lack of social interaction.

"I watched you cry yourself to sleep." He confided, gulping in attempt to remove the lump in his throat. "I watched you call up Rose and John and Karkat, tell them the news that made you shatter on the stone floor of your apartment. I watched you curl up in a ball on your couch and neglect food for two days in the epitome of mourning and grief. And I watched you shower."  
"Pervert!" Jade giggled, punching him in the shoulder as tears streamed from her eyes.

They smiled at one another, before pressing their foreheads together, his hands resting on her cheeks and jaw as his thumbs wiped away the tears. She blushed, a strange thing she hadn't expected to happen now that she was no more than a spirit.

"I promised I'd wait." Dave said.  
"You did." Jade replied in a whisper.  
"Shall I show you something?" Dave asked, smiling at her with that slightly lopsided smirk.  
"Sure."

Dave took her hand and led her to a pool of water in the meadow they were stood in. It was beautiful, just a grassy green knoll surrounded by thick fir trees and the sun casting a shadow from the east. And when Jade looked into the pool, she saw not her own reflection but an image that moved, a view of the world she'd been in only moments before.

It was two coffins, placed beside each other with two familiar bodies. Dave, holding a large Jade stone in his hands this time, but wearing the same red suit. And in a coffin beside his, was Jade's body, a gash on her pale forehead. In her hands, a plastic red rose. Their bodies were lowered into the ground in the same spot, at the same time. And on the gravestone above were the words:

_Dave Strider & Jade Harley_  
_Lovers, Friends and Soulmates_  
_You will be dearly missed._

_Not space nor time will keep them apart._

Jade looked at Dave in confusion, it was an impossible scene. She'd died only minutes before. And there was no way they would've buried her so early since her death would either be classed as manslaughter or suicide. But Dave just looked at her and said, "It's real. It's just that Space and Time are warped here."  
"Together even in death." Jade replied, pulling a face and resembling a clown.  
"Soulmates, eh, Harley?"  
"Can it, Strider."

He smirked as she leaped up and pressed her lips to his, her arms snaking around his shoulders and his around her waist in an embrace neither ever wished to break. It was such a sweet, gentle and silent gesture but it held so many words as the wind blew around them. She'd ran to him, ran to his arms and he had kept them open for her. There was no mistaking it, that even in death, love could be eternal. That true love was evident, even if it had been only recently admitted. That in truth, love was the act of breaking the shackles on someone, to let them show their true selves to someone. Love is wanting someone by your side, for them to see everything you see, everything you do.

And that was how they both felt.


End file.
